At this moment, immediately after landing in Paris from Tel Aviv, all I can see is Israel's fear and discrimination of a people and a language indigenous to the same land they occupy.

This is my final blog post, post-trip. Distinguishing how I feel inside Israel and outside of the country is easy. I no longer feel afraid or stressed because I don’t have to hide how I feel—at all. I am an honest person, but in Israel, I could not be.

My last blog post was about a week ago and for good reason. In between my time at Hebron and now, I have done a lot of mental processing. Thinking about my actions of what I want to do after this trip is also on my mind. However, what changed my thoughts from almost complete despair towards determination was my conversation with Jeff Halper who is the co-founder of ICAHD, Israeli Committee Against Home Demolitions.

When I last left you, I was fresh from a meeting with Wi’am. I felt quite hopeful. Now, I feel hardened, like iron being refined in a fire, until I emerge in a changed state--not beautiful but more resilient.

“See, I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction."

-Isaiah 48:10

My last blog post painted a slightly grim picture: me, stuck in Bethlehem with no luggage and no visa and destined to wear three shirts for the next twenty days. Now, I have +1 shirt, thanks to haggling in the Old City of Jerusalem, and a sense of peace about my visa being lost in the ether. Apparently, I am in Israel’s system, and I can be searched if I am questioned at a checkpoint.

Here are how my last few days have been, told through the reality of walls, issues of water, and my wonderful meeting with Wi’am!

For this blog post, I’m going to divide my experience of the last four days into the good, the bad, and the ugly. It's been quite a ride, even now.

Israeli West Bank Barrier by Motecruz Foto licensed by CC 2.0, edited by Courtney Hawkins

Today, I travel to Palestine. This is a sentence I’d never thought I’d write; it was always a pipe dream, but I’m realizing what seems far is as close as you make it when you take advantage of the resources you have. While this trip is exciting and new, it will also be a taxing time. I am not here to be a tourist, and recent events have made taking action even more important.